Miss You

3rd day since i torture myself not to text you. 8 days since we broke up. 192 hours since I missed you.

It's just so hard to be here thinking why & why. Moonu is up tonight. & Gosh seeing the name Moonu itself makes me want to break down :(

It's really hard to go through this. I'm trying my best to be happy but you just keep running into my mind.

It's really hard to forget all this shits & Idk.

Ilovethepain

It's good to know that happiness are just bullshit. So is happy ending. What's the point of living when you know you are about to loose your life? :/ I am like n a puzzle. You love me or not :/ It's freaking my head out. Idk what have I done till I don't deserve a shit in life.

Was it nice the feeling? :) Seeing me hurt! Seeing me crying every night! And you're having fun up and down ? :) When I ask, you will say 'you don't deserve me. It's better we break u & blablabal' Then what's the point I'm being sincere to you for months? Being honest to you. Giving you my whole heart. Perhaps to some idiots, it's very easy to replace him. HAHA Well you're one of the idiots. If you had understand what love really means, there's no way you could find replacement even thought of replacement. 

I just hate you for everything but bullhit of me for still loving you.

This pain is really enjoyable! i mean it's funny and interesting! How he can go on acting like love me but... You'll understand when karma taps you ass :)

When your heart gets broken!

What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them :/ Standing right beside her when she need me most :'( Baby, I miss you daa :'( This dead-alive relationship is killing me daa :'( It just doesn't feel the same anymore. It feel like we are two different strangers :( What is wrong bie? :( Is it me? I am sorry :( I really have tried to be perfect for you but I just fail to do so :'( I really want you back :'( I am going crazy w/o you everyday :'( It hurts so much :'( What have I done till  deserve all this? :'( Why are you avoiding me? Why daa :'( 3 weeks you are making me in a weak state :'( I barely know myself :'( The happier me :'( Today i am just a shit who cries every minute :'( It's not fair for you to go  and have fun but leaving me dead :'( I cannot take this anymore :'( I wish I had never born :/ It's a fucking feeling :'( To see you going away from me slowly :'( Each time you say you need time it the same as you are leaving me slowly :'( I can't go tru all this alone daa :'( I cannot. It kills me :/ All I could do is blame God :/ Why must HE take you away from me :'( False hopes & all :'( It hurts deeply :/ Fuck my life :'( Why can't HE give me a happy life? :'( Don't I deserve to be happy too at least once in life? I give up in life :'( I really do :'(

Nothing Last Forever.

Even the prettiest flower will die one day. It is nature's way of teaching us that nothing lasts forever.

Things changes, I change the most. 

Don't worry about me or what I do. This is my life not yours.

I know how paranoid I get when you go 'there'. I know I fail to understand you. I don't want to argue. But don't you think I won't miss you when you never text me the whole day? A text like, 'hye I am doing great & imy' would have make me feel secure & happy. 

I don't know you anymore. I miss the old us.

I remember when I used to count your kisses, now I count the days since we last talked.

I hate to be left alone by you. That feeling sucks. I know you are busy & friends & family comes first. Got it & will deal with it.

Each time I do so, I never get a reply, I feel like I am disturbing all your fun & yes I did. Sorry.

This is what I have to go through this few days. Sometimes, I wish we were just friends. So that I wouldn't miss you much.

You don't love me. You only know me, when you need me.

Sometimes I felt this way. You only need me when you need me. I don't know me anymore.

 I wanna talk to you so bad, but I hate feeling like I bug you.

At times i do this. I am afraid you wouldn't like if your friends sees it.

I do that all the time to you right? Pissing you off all the time.

'Ok?' That's what I used to reply when I am moody? :)

But you never understand my 'Ok' :)

A simple hello can lead to so many things.

Forgive? Yes. Forget? No.

Second chances don't matter any more cause people never change

I would still be the same. Sorry.

So much of me.

Things were different before this. It was my fault entirely. I know my temper started off all this shits between you and me. It's true I have caused all those fights. 

I am sorry. You know I really don't want to pick a fight but I end up doing so. I do feel bad, immature but there I go doing it again as I am EGO. 

I miss you so much this whole week. I don't know why i am picking a fight and I really wanted you attention. I don't feel good. I don't know why, but I do feel death is near. I love you & sorry if I have done it again. 

   

Hai & Bye.

Ashmita amiga si :D HAHA what is that eyh? :) Well, actually I also dunno :p CHUMMA, lalalala. Ini blog semakin hari semakin mati. Bosan tauw. I selalu lupa I ada blog. WTF, hehe <3

Fantastically I did EXTREMELY well for my exam :p WOW, my marks damn stunning till I could say, Mother of all Exam, why this kolaveri??? :D

Why my lips like that? I wanna kiss my lesbo mate la :p HAHAHA, wahh I sangat high today :) Results of boredom :p OHHH gossip, yeah gott :D About my buddy Vinnothani, my lesbo baby :p Kattipudi baby :p HAHA, okay the storyy, this assy went and, ahh malas la >< You all ask her urself :p TAK BAIK GOSSIP :p

I am forever alone, single & desperate :( vinno no wanna kattipudi wif me :( She hates me :( She love Mr.Tay dy :(  HAIHHH, she stupid la go lurve him, & she always leave me alone? Who wants me? :( She fail her exam & I pass :( How bad >< Hate her :p HAHHAHAHA

Another, Another Life.

  Form 6 ain't easy as i thought :) The syllabus is the same as A-level, so basically those who throw their money on private colleges are 'xtremely smart' to do so. Gasp, homework after homework are torturing. Tuitions are like packed with homeworks too. Enna oru vazhkai :)

 But after all that, meeting new friends are like awesome, most of all being with your best friend :D Best of all I found a new enemy without even opening my mouth. Anyways, that shit is from my old school.

  I guess I'm becoming a nerd. It's a better way, HAHA, at least i will do well, score well for my STPM. i gotta do so. I want a scholar to go UK for medicine :)

  Ahh, why medicine? I do love Law, but then parents :) Sometimes in life, parents knows whats the best for their child :) They have done much for me and it isn't hard to repay my dad for once  for his kindness :) All the love they have shown me, being a doctor would make them proud.

Sorry

Hye love, are you angry? I;m sorry daa, I should not have made your day worst. Oh btw, that was so rude to hang up the phone like that :O Ah dear, don't always out of mood, later I be superwoman kayh Superman? Together we hit those Bug Bullies. :D Deyh, I am sorry I am just so stressed for the speech. dad never wanna help :/ Hmm, ya la I pre-U la bie. Need to learn to stand on my own feet. hye handsome :D

Baby see how good you are when you smile like a cow <3 Hmm, HAHA, I'm sorry deyh D; Forgive me? i love you btw dog :p HAHA I mean dear.

Hello

Shit, I am having my sore throat, fever, flu. Left cough haven't visit me. It's like fish-fied  terrible. Seriously I hate to be sick.

Fuck la, my shit Facebook  always cannot work. Abi, sorry ya using bad words. Seriously this is annoying.

Well today I had a major fight with dad. I am seriously pissed off, seriously, maybe during my dad's gen, his Nokia is a great trend but HELLO, I am a 21st century girl D; Why can't you people get it? SIII is my generation handphone D; Seriously I feel lame la using that Nokia of mine. No camera & all. Have mercy pls.

Seriously at times I am sick with their old fashioned style. I really wanted to study Law. Why can't they understand. I got great offer from MMU & BAC & thanks to you people who really wants me to be a dr, I can tell I ca never do it.

It's true. I really hate the subject bio. Why can't you get that? Seriously? I cannot friend this person & all. Seriously I hate my life.
 You know whats more hurting?I can't go near certain cousin. Fuck la -.- Seriously i am sorry,my typing sccks.

Hello

What the hell. Blogs change! Shit. GAHHH. HAHA, silly me. I should start the day with a smile :) Well, well, well. Did you ever thought that 'God I am thankful i am still alive today?'. HAHA I know it sounds stupid but  Hye life is all about thanking all those good things that are happening!

 

Look at this lips :D So beautiful soon gonna be ugly :p HAHA smoke more lady! Get ur lips fugly & den regret for being stupid! :p

Today another day am going out to see him <3 I really miss him to the core :D

We do fight alot but then again we will be back together :) That's love. See I can't go on a day without him. Not to  say I am obsessed but god damn it, I am madly in love with him :)

All those crazy thing he did. HAHA, how he knelt down & propose & our candle light dinner. it's really sweet & romantic ;)

Gahhh got to go :) Wana date :D 

BRAVO ♥

BRAVO ♥ My favourite spot to lepak after DELTA :D Hehe, I love going B13 as the gang is there :D

I love the dorm as it is damn selesa & yet happy :D One of my fav memo over there was THE MARRYBROWN chicken. HAHA, gosh that was so hilarious :D POWDER mum, bought chciken, so khirtana ajak me to eat with them. There was only 2 piece & the best part of it was, the kecik in bravo, that SHORTY, haha, came saw the chickens, settle down beside us, finish it up 85%, HAHA. All of us were like maki-ing her in TAMIL. HAHA.

Then

SRI RAMA JAYAM

HAHAHAHA, went and pura-pura call JASJEET," Hye, Jasjeet (in Tamil), Loges mum get for us chicken, come get it, we keep for you dy".Due to this, the SHORTY got damn dissapointed and walk off, then she return, HAHA Khirtana super smart, HAHAHA,when and call up Jas again (fake)- "Jas, you tak mahu ur ayam ah? Ok we eat", HAHA since she say that, the shorty came back and say, " JAS tak mau, I ambik". HAHA, Tana got pissed off & scolded her, we belm, makan, we sharing & HAHA, the shorty never leave. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

♥ JASJEET, she is so adorable like a teddy. HAHA, I enjoy being in the same CB class as her. Jas, 'chicken lil'. HAHA, she is so fun to talk with & yets so cute! "NONSENSE", HEHE, Jasjeet, wanna meet you soon, miss you so much cutie :D Trust me, Jas, is a fantastic woman ♥

SRI RAMA JAYAM, HAHA meet Khirtana, damn she is too funny to be good, HAHA, I remember telling her,
Me : "Khirtana, I saw the monkeyyss..."
She: Sri Rama Jayam, don't say monkeys, say HANUMAN
Me : Haha, no way deyh, I wanna say the monkeys..
She: Don't say monkeys, they are my HANUMAN
Me : Adiyeh, this is something bad. I saw the monkeys.
She: Sri Rama Jayam, please Siva. PLEASE.
Me : FINE! I saw the HANUMAN bite the BRA!!! -.- HAHAHA

Haha, she ended up opening her eyes so wide & say SRI RAMA JAYAM, just say monkeys. HAHAHA, then another time, I lost my stuff, and was damn sad, it was my baju kelas. So she took her hp, called MARUTHI & HANUMAN, made me laugh. Haha & followed me to dorm to look for it :) Then we gave the Hanuman to eat oranges ♥ I really miss my Maruthi. She is one of a kind. Lovely.

Lil baby :D She is exactly like Leevya, haha small & cute. Haha, she is so sweet & lovely. I really love her smile, it's so adorable. I always wished she had grown a few METER taller
♥ Haha sayang Aneesch :D

Dhurga, sweet girl ♥ I reallythought she was a Punjabi at first. She is so j=kind :D Haha, I rememba going to DM & she will be so sexy coming out from bathroom. HAHA, ALAMAK KACAU
♥

Nava, I may not be so close withher, then again, we do share some memo together :D Thank to you, NAVA, I got so addicted to POO NEE POO song! HAHA, serious! AHHHH, hate you NAVA. Haha, btw, I often forget to tell you deyh. i really admire your hair, wanna have them :D Heeee
♥
I love Bravo, Hye Bravo siap sedia untuk bertempur HYE! ♥

PLKN

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KEM PADANG HIJAU <3

Well I meet really awesome people

ESPECIALLY

Thanes Peter, Divyaa Veeran, Leevya, Rao, Chris, Jaya, Kiren, Rev & Yuva & Monisha & Farhan

These people are so damn awesome & they really made me cried on the last day. HAHA

Those memories with them is like so awesome and lovely. During this 77 days of fun & torture, I learn the meaning of life (HALF), I learn how to tolerate & forgive & forget.

I love the Dorm 16, haha every morning wake up & look at Divyaa, haha then I really hate doing DUTY =.= That was a lil lame.



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Every morning after mandi, Div & I would go down and sit on the road, sleep actually. But most of time we do 'THE SLEEP DRAMA' when Sachu is there. HAHA. Then when the guys pass by, we will be like, see this guy, so cute & bla bla bla, at the same time, facing Bravo's toilet we could see guys- sexy =.= Haha they weren';t wearing shirt. Apa lagi! CUCI MATA. :p

Then Leevya, Yuva will join us <3 HAHA, that's when we start our morning duty story. SAD SAD. HAHA, PT is fun except JOGGING >< LAA

She is my bestie <3 DIVYAAA <3 DAMN, you could just laugh the whole day sitting with her.

Leeevyaaa, she is the cutest among all, MISS PORTABLE, short & small & pretty. Really admire this baby, HAHA she is so soft & yet patience <3 Really adore this lil girl.

This is my father Rao, & Bro Chris. Haha, I really enjoy talking with them Chris got a real loosen up screw at his mouth. HAHA he is really nice to hang-out with & for my appa BAASHA, haaha he is so cool that I really felt proud to have a DAD like him :D HAHA.

Kiren, my son, HAHA, I really thought he was a quiet idiot, but he is damn fun to be with too. HAHA, my son is like a kid. HAHA, still in love with the way he speaks english. :D

He look like that GREEN Teletubie (idk the spelling), haha, robot. The fun part of him is you can laugh and laugh about him & yet he stands there emotionless. HAHA, my kannu! HAHA, and and in Integrasi class everyone will be talking but, he will be paying 100% attention, NERDO :D HAHA

BARNEYYYY, haha THANES, he is my BEST FRIEND, haha he is smart & joker. HAHA, sanjay ramasamy -.-? HAHA, our ketua agama hindu. HAHA, this fellar is like jaya but totally cool. HAHA, and I really love his stories is so awesome & fantastic :D

Dah I malas mau tulis, tak tahu nak tulis pa jew. HAHA, rindu sayang FARHAN :D HEEEEE <3 FARHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN <3

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DAMN

DAMN, it's been ages since I used this blog. It's a RIP blog I suppose. Haha, finally everything settle down, I learn driving today & God thank you I didn't kill anyone :)

These Wednesday & Thursday was a lovely one for me :) Haha, Tuesday, finally that IDIOT took the bas back to Muar, GAHHH I can't wait to see him :) I am so proud he got really good results <3 DAMN,haha that afternoon, we went to Taib's house :) Miss her :D There, we both ummm I just love him :) I love every moment spent with him.

Thursday was another interesting day to spend with him <3 Very indeed. I just couldn't take the way he knelt down & propose me. BIEEE, the chain is very very lovely :) And the card he gave was really lovely but that IDIOT thinks he RUINED it. Haha, I love it when he calls me ibu, mommy & etc, it makes me feel really appreciated

:)
He is so adorable when he is jealous & I enjoy making him annoyed. HAHA, sweet :D Then then, I really love the distance we are having, haha I do miss him alot but then again the distance made us closer then we can imagine & so every moment we spend together is very precious :)

I love it when he does this to me, I really enjoyed it what more when that idiot calls me short. Hye babi I am TALL <3

Baby, kau ilhamku sayang :) I love the way he talk manja-ly :D

HAAAHHH, malas to write dy. HAHA, am busy talking to him now <3